It's that time of year. School supplies fill the front aisles of the stores. Teachers are busily soaking up the last days of summer vacation while trying to prepare both curriculum and an inviting classroom. It will not be long before the empty desks or seats on the carpet will be occupied with vibrant, and wiggly children, ready to begin the year with a clean slate! (Some of my educator friends have already begun. Lucky Ducks!).
My first years of teaching, I spent hours upon hours of time in the hallway, decorating, building jungles or ocean scenes with butcher paper from ceiling to floor. (Hey! I am not knocking it:). I would picture in my head how each child would feel as they entered my classroom. As I taught longer, I began to spend my hours pouring over curriculum and revisiting innovative ways to engage my students. I still wanted to create a positive atmosphere, but I began to picture in my mind how I could help each student become a mathematician, a reader, a thinker.
The next phase of growth for me as an educator, happened somewhere in the years that I taught Team Second: a class equipped with two educators, specifically designed to meet a group of second grade students' diverse learning needs. (These were the years I taught with Jason Bellows and Alicia Beasley). I spent even more time those years pouring over data, curriculum, and research. I spent even more time thinking about my classroom atmosphere and the part I played in student learning. Now, however, I began to understand the critical impact that parent "buy in" has on student success.
Before you assume that I have dropped in from outer space and that I have no real grasp on education in the real world, let me explain. I have worked in several different capacities at every kind of school: urban Title One Schools, middle of the road schools, schools with portable buildings, rural schools, old schools, new schools. The families I served have been as diverse as the campuses on which I have served. The parents I speak of, could be termed guardians by many. I give them the title parent because they were entrusted to parent these students. Many of them put my personal parenting to shame with the amount of responsibility they showed. Some may have parented differently than I would have. The parents I wanted to "buy in" might be middle class/ two income families, single parents in custody battles, parents eager to host class parties, grand parents, step parents, or an adult living in the home who qualifies as none of the above. They could be doctors, business owners, recent move-ins, retired, or parents who had fallen on hard times. I needed these parents to have confidence in me, so I could also gain the respect of the students.
***I fully recognize that some parents, caregivers , or guardians, are impossible to reach and there are some students who literally parent themselves, but that is for a separate blog.****
I began to realize how important it was to have a plan for my first interactions with parents, just as I had carefully planned for my first interactions with students. In my Team Second Year, we conferenced with parents before the year ever began. This is not the way it worked for me each other year, but I still thoughtfully planned my first interactions with parents: from the introductory letter, to greetings of the parents who love to drop students off at my door, to my favorite goal- setting surveys I sent to parents the first week of school.
From the multifaceted and ever-interesting encounters I had with parents through the years by conferences, phone calls, and especially the surveys, I have learned some simple things I needed to remember:
- Students have an educational history. For better or for worse, most often, my students have had other teachers. The teachers' personalities and teaching styles differ from my own. Parents may have certain expectations or misconceptions based upon their experience with their chidlren's teachers. I may have to work hard to gain their trust. I should never take anything for granted.
- Parents are individuals. I should not make blanket generalizations about parents. I should get to know each one through some form of communication, as far as it depends on me.
- Most parents have goals for their children. Some parents already have a detailed, three point plan for their student. With others, I may have to facilitate their goal-setting through conferences or the use of surveys.. The goals of parents may differ from my goals for the student, but I should always keep the parent's goals in mind..
- Parents have valuable information. There are so many things about a student's history that I will never know unless a parent shares with me. We can work together to solve the puzzles in a student's learning.
- I should tell parents the truth. There is no excuse for avoiding the truth about student performance in academics or student's behavior in class when communicating with parents. However, there is also no excuse for keeping a student's strengths a secret. Parents should hear the whole truth about their student, and I should always look at student strengths and be committed to build from there. Some parents have never been blessed to hear about what the child can do! I must never omit this information!
- We are on the same team! We should both be working for the student's overall success as a thinker and learner. I should always ask, "How can I communicate best to the parent that we are on the same team? " and "Am I really being a good listener?". I have been blessed to team up with some amazing parents over the years. Many parents will be your fiercest advocates, if you are a genuine advocate for their child.
- Parents have their own educational history. There are those who were valedictorians, football heroes, or head of the Student Council when they were in school. Others may have had difficulty reading or have been the victims of bullying. Each part of their educational history can play a role in the way they view reading or grading policies, their value for education, and their expectations of the education system in general. I cannot change their negative experiences, but I can always do my best to create more positive interactions in the realm of education. This may take a commitment to work hard on my part!
- I should do my best to never speak disrespectfully about a parent. ( I am imperfect, so I will not say this has never happened, but it is a personal ongoing commitment to steer clear of disrespectful conversation about parents). Parents deserve respect.I would not wish to overhear a parent belly-aching about my abilities to educate children to a roomful of parents. Likewaise,I should always do my best to maintain a positive attittude when dealing with parents...even parents who require a bit more grace and attention. If we have a difference of opinion, we need to discuss the matter and reach a consensus. Again, we should be on the same team.
- I am not the parent. ( My coteachers can attest to the fact that I have had to repeat this to myself many times throughout the years). I may be sharing knowledge, appreciating strengths, setting goals, teaching social skills, and mending broken hearts, but I am not the parent. It is my job to educate and advocate for children. I must be careful that as I educate students and share information with parents, I realize that, in the end, I am an influential educator and not the student's parent.
As I begin the year, as a Reading Specialist this time around, I still have the goal of connecting with my students' parents throughout the year. I will no longer hold the place in their hearts that is the treasured spot of their Classroom Teacher, but I look forward to sharing successes in Reading with the broader base of parents who are now my 'teammates' for the year..and maybe beyond!
Have a great year!
Heather
